


Beyond This Illusion

by zahnie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dialogue Heavy, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Fix-It, Heaven & Hell, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues, Song: Carry on My Wayward Son (Kansas), The Good Place (TV) References, we all deserved better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:46:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27661552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zahnie/pseuds/zahnie
Summary: Dean's in the Heaven he deserves but something is wrong: he doesn't deserve to be in any Heaven.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 23
Kudos: 141





	Beyond This Illusion

**Author's Note:**

  * For [greenmonstermash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenmonstermash/gifts).



> Last week, I said "I'm really looking forward to Supernatural's happy ending, even if I have to write it myself." So here it is: the beginning of the happy ending we all deserve.
> 
> This fic is for greenmonstermash, as all my Supernatural fics are, because I would not be here without her. Watching this show with you is the only way I could ever have finished it. All my love <3

“This is the Heaven you deserve,” Bobby says.

The words hit Dean with a sickening lurch. He keeps smiling, not wanting to let it show. Alarm bells are going off in his head now. The Heaven _he_ deserves? No, he wouldn't get to Heaven without some kind of intervention.

And wait, didn't Bobby say Cas helped make this place? But Cas is in the Empty. Chuck never had any authority there and so Jack wouldn't either. Would he? Something is wrong.

“I think I'll go for a drive,” Dean says. Bobby, if it even is Bobby, nods.

Dean turns to see Baby sitting there, shiny and perfect. He grins, lost in admiration for a moment. As he approaches, he automatically checks the Impala over with his eyes. The tiny ripple in the paint above the front left tire is gone. It takes everything he has not to react. Dean spent ages trying to get rid of that blemish, even repainting the whole car multiple times.

Dean gets in the car. Driving is like a dream. He's sure Baby would just lift off the road and fly through the air if he wanted. The euphoria he felt before rises again. Sun lighting up the tops of the trees, blue mountains in the distance, classic rock booming in his ears.

But Dean's never been very good at being happy. He stops the car at the end of the song. He remembers dying, choking out his last words to Sam. If Dean's dead and not in Heaven, there's only one other place he could be.

“Rowena,” he says, his voice loud in the silence.

Nothing happens. Dean waits, every muscle tense. The song starts again: _Carry on my wayward son!_

Dean turns it off. “Rowena,” he says again. “Come on out.”

There's a click. _There'll be peace when you are done_ , the radio sings. Dean can feel joy bubbling up inside of him but it's more distant now. It feels fake.

“Rowena!” he yells.

The music stops on its own. “Well, that was quick,” Rowena says, from beside him.

Dean snaps his head around and she smiles at him. She's wearing the same outfit from the last time he saw her. “Hello Dean,” she says.

Dean takes a deep breath. Yeah, this is about his luck. “So, I'm in Hell?” he asks, trying to sound calm.

She sighs. “I _told_ them to rework it, but it's still too heavy-handed to be believable. Amateurs. No craftsmanship.”

“Why?” Dean asks.

“Did you honestly expect to go anywhere else?” Rowena asks.

Fair point. Dean shrugs. “I guess not.”

“But you had hope, didn't you?” Rowena asks, almost sympathetically. “That's always a mistake.” She leans back. “I'd forgotten how comfortable these seats are.”

“What happens now?” Dean asks.

“Hmm? Oh, you break out, of course,” Rowena says.

“What?”

Rowena laughs. “You can't keep a Winchester locked up. I've been around all of you long enough to know that. I would have mentioned it to the Empty but the poor dear is so cranky lately.”

Dean sits up straighter. “The Empty?”

Rowena crosses her legs and looks coyly over at Dean through her eyelashes. “Bit off more than it can chew, I suspect. A dying Death, no problem. A meddlesome angel—”

Dean flinches.

Rowena smiles and goes on. “Annoying but manageable. But the new wee God himself? Sounds like an overreach to me.”

“Jack's in the Empty?” Dean chokes out.

“He had to rescue his father,” Rowena says. “He popped by to tell Auntie Rowena all about it. Such a nice boy.”

Dean's thoughts are whirling. “Can't he get out?”

Rowena rolls her eyes. “Obviously not. You'd be in Heaven with Castiel right now if he could. Or back on Earth. I'm sure your son would rather all his fathers were alive. Well, the three of them that count anyway.”

“Wait, what does any of this have to do with pretending I'm in Heaven?” Dean asks.

“It's a new initiative one of my demons pitched. There's some kind of television show with the same premise, they tell me.” She smiles. “Besides, what would Samuel say if I actually had you tortured?”

Dean doubts she'd have a chance to find out. Sam certainly isn't going to Hell when he dies, hopefully a long time from now. And Dean doesn't think Sam will hunt much without him, so no reason to talk to Rowena, Queen of Hell, except weird nostalgia.

Instead of saying all that, Dean asks, “How do I help Cas and Jack get out of the Empty?”

“Go there,” Rowena says immediately.

“What? No. I'd be stuck there too.” She isn't making sense.

Rowena delicately places two fingers on her temple like she's getting a headache. “Dean Winchester, you have an extremely powerful soul. The Empty is stretched thin enough as it is. Your arrival would break the stalemate.” She sighs. “Especially since protecting you will inspire both your child and your lover to greater heights of power, as cliche as that sounds.”

“Cas isn't... we aren't...” Dean stammers. He used to just shrug off that mistake.

Rowena blinks at him. “You aren't? Why not?”

Dean opens his mouth but nothing comes out. The truth is, he never let himself think about it. Ever. No point to it, with Cas gone again. And now Dean's dead again and in Hell again, and he can still barely think about it.

“We never had time,” Dean says, finally.

Rowena looks away. “Some things you can't fix,” she says.

The defeat in her voice hurts. Dean feels anger surge through him. “And some things you can,” he says, firmly. “How do I get to the Empty?”


End file.
